Found And Lost Page 8

  I stare at her in shock. I never even dreamed anything like that could be possible. “Do you think it would work? I would love the chance to go to a real school again; you know, since I haven’t been since I was twelve.” I asked excitedly.

  “It’s no bother, Sweetheart. All I would have to do is make a call and see if it’s even possible at this point. There is only one way to find out. One of the pack works at DCF so she could check things out on the QT. I could give her a call to see what she thinks.” I nodded eagerly.

  I paced outside Big Chases office as Beth chatted on the phone. Then paperwork was faxed over for us to fill out. Beth’s friend had already contacted Colorado DCF, and they agreed to send the proper documentation. Relieved to know I was alive and well, they even agreed to accelerate the process.

  By two pm, Beth was driving me to the courthouse to have a Judge sign off on the decree. Since the Judge was also a pack member, he was very accommodating. Just like that, I was free to be my own person. Colorado State DCF faxed us a certificate of emancipation. I couldn’t believe it.

  The last thing we did was sign me up at school. I would start classes there on Monday. I couldn’t wait to tell CJ. It was almost supper time before we got home. I felt guilty taking up so much of Beth’s day. However, Beth insisted she was as thrilled with the progress we’d made as I was.

  One question still nagged me, so on the ride home. I finally broke down and asked, “Beth, do you really think CJ wants me to stay? I mean, I don’t want to stick around if it will make him uncomfortable.”

  “Ask him Mia. I have no doubt what CJ’s answer will be. He waited for you to come down this morning, pacing like a wild cat in a cage. Finally, he had to get to work. Spring round-up for the big stock sale waits for no man.”

  Giving her another hug, I thanked her yet again. “Thanks, Beth, for everything!” Having her arms around me, hugging me back, felt weird and wonderful after so long alone. I could get very used to having a mother again.

  “Your very welcome, Sweetheart.”

  Beth showed me what my duties would be once we got home. After which I helped with supper. I rang the dinner bell that night. As I was watching everyone show up for the evening meal, I was greeting them by name. Everyone greeted me like I was one of the pack already. I had a sense of belonging I’d never felt before.

  Finally, I saw Chase and CJ walking up from the barn. Unable to contain my excitement, I ran down the steps and threw myself in CJ’s arms, hugging him. He looked at me in surprise then smiled. “I could get used to being greeted like this.”

  “Guess what, CJ. I’m free. Your mom is the best. She got me emancipated. I’m legally considered an adult. I can go anywhere I want, do whatever I please. No more worrying about DCF contacting Jackson. Aren’t you happy for me?” I babbled excitedly. I was surprised by the sense of fear that washed through him. “What’s the matter?” I asked in concern.

  “Where do you want to go?” CJ asked nervously.

  “Here. I want to go here and to school. Your mom gave me that job. I’m gonna stay here and join the pack. I’ll have a real home, for the first time in like forever, with people I care about. I thought you’d be happy.”

  CJ’s fear dissipated as quickly as it had come. Lifting me off my feet, he spun me around. “I am happy. I thought, for a minute, you were gonna leave. Don’t ever leave, Mia.” he said as he put me back on my feet.

  “CJ, are you sure? I’ll leave if me being here for good makes you unhappy.” I asked tentatively.

  “Why would you even think that?” CJ asked.

  I stepped back, staring at the ground, as I kicked at a clump of grass nervously. “After you left last night, I figured, I mean, I know how uncomfortable I made you. Your mom explained a lot about sex. I understand how your body reacts to me because you’re a guy and all. I know you’re not happy about it. I didn’t mean to cause you distress when I asked you to sleep with me, CJ. I didn’t know how it affected you. I’m really sorry. I just feel safe when I’m with you.

  I understand, after losing your brothers and sister, your need to protect others. Who better than a naive girl, on her own. I don’t want to stay and make you feel like you need to look after me when it bothers you.”

  “God, Mia, I don’t know what Mom told you, but that isn’t the issue. Not exactly anyway. You’re not just some girl I lust after. Despite living alone all this time, you don’t have a lot of life experience with real life and relationships. You’re very innocent; it makes this situation hard.”

  There were those damned tears threatening again. I forced them away. The last thing I wanted was to have CJ feel sorry for me. CJ lifted my face to his. “Mia, I’m in love with you. But you didn’t even understand what was happening between us. I think we are fated to be mates. That’s a lifetime commitment. If I’m right and I let things get carried away between us, we would be bonded.”

  I looked into this eyes. Eyes, I knew I wanted to look into every day for the rest of my life. “Would that be such a bad thing, CJ?”

  “Mia, you don’t understand.” CJ sighed. “Look, I know last night was your first kiss. Right?” I nodded. “You would never get to kiss another boy. There would be no other loves, just me for the rest of your life. Werewolves, though we can be killed, live many centuries, so the rest of your life is a very long time. I want you to be sure I’m the one you want to bind yourself to forever.”

  “I might be inexperienced, but I do understand that, CJ. Your father explained about wolves taking a mate for life. Which I already knew because my folks explained it to me long ago. They were mates, too. That’s why my mother defied her father and ran away to be with my dad despite the wrath they incurred because they were meant to be together. I feel like we’re meant to be together, too, like fate sent me to you. I can feel your need to protect me, even from yourself. I don’t need to be protected from you, CJ.”

  CJ stepped back, putting me at arm’s length, with his hands resting on my shoulders. He sighed again. “You’re not making this any easier. We have time, Mia. We don’t have to rush into this. I’m not going anywhere. I want to take you on dates. I want to do the kind of stuff a boyfriend and girlfriend do together. I want to spoil you. I want you to have the chance to be a normal teen before I claim your life.

  Most of all, I want you to really get to know me. I want to make sure you know precisely what you’re getting yourself into. So much has happened to you in just a few days. Your life has completely changed. When you’ve had time to adjust to being a werewolf, your new home, and all of us when you know me well enough to say “CJ, I love you with all my heart, and I’m sure I want to be with you for the rest of our lives” then we can take the next step, Deal?”

  “But CJ, I do know you. I can see your spirit. It burns so brightly. As bright as a beacon, full of warmth. Except for the sadness you try to hide. You’re brave and selfless. I see the sadness fade when we’re together. I just want to take all the sadness away forever.”

  CJ frowned down at me. “How do you know that, Mia?”

  “I can feel what people feel. Everyone here gives me a good feeling. They are all wonderful people. But your spirit calls to mine. I feel like I want to wrap your spirit in mine and keep it safe.”

  “Mia, you are the most amazing person I ever met. You deserve to have some fun and happiness in your life. I want to help you experience it. If I claimed as my mate now, it would be me being selfish. As much as part of me wants to do just that, I’m not going to. Just know at some point in the not too distant future, I fully intend to. Until then, you’ll be my girl, unless you don’t want to be?”

  “I absolutely want to be,” I told him.

  CJ sighed in relief. “Today was agony. I wasn’t sure you’d speak to me again after last night. I missed you every minute. I never want to lose you, Mia.”

  “I don’t want to lose you either, CJ. I lost everyone I ever loved. I’m scared I’ll lose you too. Last night was very hard. I thought you didn�
��t want to be around me anymore.” CJ didn’t reply; he just kissed me. Just like that, my doubts melted away.

  We were lost in that kiss when Chase cleared his throat loudly from the porch. He and Beth were arm in arm watching us. They both had a knowing smile. “Ah, I hate to interrupt, but there are a lot of hungry folks waiting for dinner.” I felt my cheeks redden again as we walked to the door, hand in hand.

  When I got to the door, I let go of CJ’s hand and hugged Chase. “Thank you for saving me. And thank you for having the most wonderful son in the world. I was wrong; my life is worth living.”

  I could feel Chase's surprise and the special warmth he held inside just for me. He hugged me back, lifting me off my feet like a little girl. His voice sounded hoarse when he answered, “I should have brought you home with me that night. I am so very sorry I failed you, Mia.”

  “Chase, you didn’t fail me. You saved me. You being there that day gave me the will to survive. Besides, I’m here now, and we can be a family. You saved me twice.”

  I felt wetness on my neck. “I love you, Little Wolf.”

  “I love you too, Chase.” CJ and his Mom were staring at Chase open-mouthed. I felt their amazement. I was pretty sure seeing this mountain of a man cry was a very uncommon occurrence. I cried with him.

  Loved by All

  CJ

  My dad called a meeting of the pack elders that very night. Mia was unanimously voted in. We were sitting on the porch swing when Dad came to give her the news. Mia was ecstatic. She pledged to keep all the pack laws than was sworn in as an official member.

  Mia ended up hugging my dad, all the elders, and then me. I couldn’t believe the changes in her already. No longer guarded and shy, Mia was quickly learning to trust us. I think knowing she was free to make her own choices without worrying about Jackson finding her had a lot to do with it.

  Afterward, we took a long walk in the moonlight. Mia beamed up at me. “This is one of the best days of life, CJ. I’m free, and I have a real family. I still can’t believe it.”

  “You’re really happy here? You’re definitely sure?” I knew I was being paranoid; I just couldn’t believe I had the girl of my dreams here beside me. I was afraid she was going to disappear.

  “I’m more than happy. You have the best parents. I hope you know that.”

  “They are pretty great. What are the other best days of your life?”

  “Hmm, let’s see. My second happiest day was the day you found me. It was the first time I got a present in six years.”

  “What present did you get that made you happy?”

  “You! Meeting you was the best present ever. Your mom told me all about the allure of an older man.” Mia purred as she rubbed her hand along my thigh, making me grab her hand before I gave up on my vow to wait and dragged her to the loft to claim her then and there. “My third happiest was the day I became a werewolf, then all the days I spent with you in-between.”

  I knew I was smiling like an idiot. I had never known someone like Mia. You are so warm, honest, open, and giving. Being alone, without other teenage girls as role models, Mia didn’t have a mean, conniving bone in her body. Everything she thought and felt was right there for the world to see.

  “Look at the stars, CJ; they’re beautiful. I looked at them every night. I’ve always believed my parents were up there watching over me.”

  “God, Mia, you must have been so lonely.”

  “It’s ok, CJ, I’m not lonely anymore. We can make all new memories; then, I can forget the bad memories forever.” Grief for what my beautiful Mia had missed out on in life and the pain she had suffered almost overwhelmed me. All I could think about was how I wanted to fill her life with happiness.

  “Don’t feel bad for me, CJ, you’re filling my life with happiness already. Come dance with me.” How could she know what I was thinking, I wondered? Was I that easy to read?

  “There’s no music,” I answered.

  Mia took my hands, pulling me to my feet. “Close your eyes.” I complied. “Now listen to the sounds of the night, they have a beautiful rhythm all their own.” I wanted to hold Mia in my arms and protect her forever. I loved watching the joy she took in little the things I took for granted, like the stars. We danced to the sound of crickets, and the breeze rustling through the trees around us.

  After we danced for a bit, I leaned down to kiss her. Mia leaned into my kiss, wrapping her arms around me tightly. Every time our lips met, I wanted her with an almost overpowering need. I decided there was no point in beating myself up over her age.

  Hell, she was only three years younger than me, which was a relief since I’d thought she was much younger because of her appearance and inexperience. Hell, I think the only reason it bothered me was because, now that I worked full time and helped Dad run the ranch, I felt like a mature adult now. If I’d still been in high school, our age difference wouldn’t have bothered me at all.

  All that really mattered was she was meant for me. I loved, even needed her now. Though Mia tried to stifle a yawn, I could tell she was tired. “It’s getting late, and we have to get up early. You should get to bed.”

  As I walked her to the barn, I thought about my old girlfriends. Mia was different from all of them. Even though she was younger than all of them, they seemed like silly, annoying children compared to her. I know that sounds weird since Mia was so childlike in so many ways and yet very mature and responsible where it counted. And to think I almost married the last one. If I had, I would have never even met Mia. That would have been the tragedy of a lifetime.

  “What is it, CJ?” Mia asked.

  I pulled her against my chest. “You know I love you, right? I love everything about you. I know we hardly know each other and all, I just want you to know I’ll always be here for you. I’ll always protect you.”

  Mia leaned against my shoulder, snuggling in tighter against me. “I love you too, CJ.”

  After another long passionate kiss, Mia got quiet. I could tell she was feeling conflicted. Now it was my turn to ask what was wrong. She explained. “I wish you could stay with me. My nightmares came back last night.”

  “I think I can man up if we both have to wear more clothes to bed.”

  Mia threw herself in my arms. “Thank you, CJ, thank you, thank you.” We both slept in jeans and t-shirts. Mia slept like a baby. I got to sleep eventually.

  The next morning Mia was up early, had already fed the animals, and was running around the yard chasing a bunch of the kids, full of giggles. They loved her already. It seemed like everyone she met was instantly enamored with her. I stood on the porch, watching her for a few minutes. I couldn’t help smiling.

  Mom came up, putting her arm around me. “She makes you happier than I’ve ever seen you. When are you going to make it official?”

  “Mom, she’s just a kid. She’s not even seventeen yet? I guess I should be grateful she’s older than Dad thought, but still. I already feel like a dirty old man. Don’t you think she should have some time to be a kid before she becomes a married woman?”

  “Okay, Grandpa Moses. Your father is four years older than me, CJ. We were married as soon as I turned eighteen. Besides, being a married woman is not a bad thing when it’s meant to be. I think we both know Mia stopped being a child a long time ago.

  Besides, shouldn’t she be the one to decide if it’s too soon. After the life Mia has led, waiting too long might make her feel insecure. Like you don’t think she is good enough for you. She is your mate, after all. Nothing will change that.”

  “That’s insane, Mom. How could anyone as beautiful and caring as Mia feel like she isn’t good enough for someone like me? If anything, it would be the other way around. I have no idea what I did to deserve someone like her.”

  “Mia has lost everyone she loved and been alone for a long time. Between her survivor's guilt and isolation, she questions her own self-worth. Mia doesn’t realize just how special she is because she has no basis for comparison. She’s a
lot like a wild, injured animal. She’ll need a lot of love and understanding, CJ.”

  “I guess that makes sense. She’s my world already. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. But look at her play with the kids. After the life she’s led, she deserves some time to have fun.

  I want her by my side forever. I just thought I’d wait until I could take her out on some dates and stuff like that. Let her go to school. Let her be a teen for what little time she has left to be one than propose. Make it a real special deal. I was thinking maybe on her birthday. Do you think waiting that long will make her insecure?”

  Mom smiled at me. “I think you’re being very considerate, CJ. I think it’s a great plan.”

  “Hey Mom, have you ever heard of mates that can sometimes read each other’s thoughts in human form?”

  “No, Dear, why do you ask?”

  “I think Mia can read mine sometimes.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Pretty sure. I would never have said of what I was thinking out loud. But Mia knew. She even used the same words that were in my head.”

  “She told me she can feel people’s emotions and read their spirits. Maybe that gift makes her super sensitive to yours. So much so she can read your thoughts if they are intense enough. She’s a very special girl. Look at her; the kids all love her. All the animals are drawn to her, even the cats.”

  That was weird; most of the time, the cats sensed what we were and kept their distance. Usually, the person who did Mia’s new job wasn’t a pack member because most prey animals were leery of us.

  Mia spotted me and walked over. I hadn’t noticed the kitten she was holding. When I went to give her a kiss good-bye, it hissed, then scratched me. “Ouch,” I said, rubbing my cheek.

  Mia giggled as she soothed the frightened kitten. “It’s ok; I won’t let the big bad wolf hurt you.”

  “What about me? I’m the one bleeding.” I complained.

  “Here, let me kiss your booboo.” Mia cooed. Letting the kitten go, she leaned up and kissed my cheek. Even that small kiss sent a tingle of desire through me.