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  Found And Lost

  Written by, Deanna Hall

  Warning: this book is intended for adults only due to adult language, sexual content and VIOLENCE.

  Contents

  Finding a Home

  Irresistible Scent

  Pagosa Springs

  A Wolf In Hiding

  A New Wolf

  A Home

  My Mate

  Loved by All

  Competition

  A New Start

  A Bad Penny

  Blindsided

  Mated

  Denver

  Picking UP The Pieces

  Nightmare In The Making

  Another Mate

  Breaking Point

  Fade to Black

  Lost Wolf

  Finding My Future

  Dakota

  Soulmates

  Holding Forever

  Bonded and Blessed

  The Powwow

  Past and Present Collide

  Despair

  Facing The Past

  A New Life

  A New Home

  Dark Days

  Missing Again

  Life Goes On

  Happiness Found and Lost, Again

  Marriage

  Gone Without A Trace

  Another New life

  Pregnant

  A Light In The Darkness

  Love and Loss

  The Challenge

  Heartbreak

  Home Again

  Mistakes

  Bridging The Gap

  Life Ever After

  Finding a Home

  Mia

  Isat on the edge of a cliff in the Rockies, so high up the air, it was a bit hard to breathe. It was a cold, crystal clear night with not a cloud in the sky. After I’d brushed the snow off the rock shelf, I wrapped up in my sleeping bag.

  Blowing a ring of steam from my lips, that looked like I was making smoke rings, I gazed out at a bright spot in the distance. From my viewpoint, the city below looked like a cluster of sparkling lights blending into the vast blanket of stars that kept the darkness at bay.

  A shooting star soared across my view. Not an unusual sight for someone who spent most of their nights alone in the wilderness staring up at the stars.

  A memory of one of our family camping trips popped into my head. Dad, Mom, and I were sitting around a campfire. Daddy was pointing out the constellations when the first shooting star I ever saw flew overhead. Momma pointed it out to me and told me to make a wish. “I wish we could have a forever home.” I’d told her.

  I was too young at the time to realize the look my parents shared was one of guilt. They hated dragging me from place to place, never being able to put down roots. I think that wish was one of the reasons we eventually settled down in Prescott, AZ.

  You know the saying, “be careful what you wish for” well, if I’d really understood why we frequently moved around, I never would have made that wish. It brought doom down on us.

  Over the past few years, I’d made hundreds of desperate wishes on falling stars. Wishes for a home, people to love me, for even one other person in the world to care whether I was alive or dead. They were the childish wishes of a lonely, lost girl. I’d given up on them a long time ago. Besides, they never came true. Maybe I’d make one last wish then, for old time sake. Closing my eyes, I wished the man who had saved my life years ago would remember me.

  Thinking about him and where I was heading brought the old memories and fear back. Not that they were ever far away. That fear brought the nightmares that haunted my dreams every night for as long as I could remember. Seeking Chase out was a huge risk. Last I knew, he lived way too close to the monster who had taken everything from me.

  Still, I was tired of being alone. Besides, I’d made a promise to seek him out when the time came, and I knew it was running out. My word, my promise was all I had to give anyone; therefore, I would keep it, despite being terrified the monster that haunted my nightmares would find me.

  I sat on my perch thinking about the events that had brought me to this point for the Kazillionth time. After breaking into my old home in Prescott, Arizona, a few weeks back and nearly getting caught by the police, I’d hitched a ride with a trucker. He’d taken me all the way to Durango, Colorado. He was a decent guy; he even insisted on buying my meals. To my surprise and relief, he didn’t ask any questions.

  The hours I spent with that trucker were the most interaction I’d had with another human being in almost five years. Despite being scared to death, I’d buried my fear deep inside, as I had learned to do. My dad had always said being brave wasn’t the lack of fear; it was facing your fears and acting anyway. Once my folks were killed, I hadn’t had much choice; it was either be brave or die.

  Despite my fear, I’d presented a calm, confident exterior. Still, I’d maintained a tight grip on the switchblade in my pocket. I’d tried to remain quiet and aloof, yet Sam’s sense of humor and jokes drew me out. His spirit was light, happy, and content. His joy for living was contagious.

  Before long, he had me laughing and trying to sing along with the country station on his radio. I loved his music. It was full of stories with happy endings. It had reminded me of singing in the car with my parents as we’d head off for our camping trips. Even after all these years, I still missed them terribly.

  Thanks to Sam, my journey was starting on a positive note. When he dropped me off, he’d thanked me for the excellent company. As I got out of the truck, Sam grabbed my hand. I started to panic. Reaching in my pocket, I’d grasped my knife.

  Sam looked in my eyes with a warm smile alleviating my apprehension. “You’re a special girl, Mia. Whatever demons you’re running from, don’t let them catch you and don’t let them own you. Stay safe and be happy.”

  Heaving a sigh of relief, I let go of the knife, grateful I hadn’t had to use it. Sam was waving as he disappeared in the distance. For the first time in a long, long time, I felt hope.

  After Sam dropped me off, I’d bought some supplies and headed for the forest. I had been roaming the forests of the southwest alone for almost five years now. Despite being lonely, I had a kinship with the animals I came across. They had been my friends and kept me company.

  My parents had taught me never to stay in one place for too long. They had broken their own rule when we settled down in Prescott, Arizona. They were convinced if my grandfather hadn’t found them in all that time, he must have given up looking. They’d wanted me to have a normal life.

  We had been living in Prescott for two years. I was going to school and had made friends. It was the happiest I’d ever been. I would have given it all up in a heartbeat if I’d known that the cost for my happiness would be my parent's lives.

  After leaving town, I’d climbed for hours, until my legs ached from the strain, demanding I stop to rest. Since I needed to put as much distance as possible between Arizona and me, I’d pushed myself hard the past week. I’d spotted the ledge I was currently perched on, jutting out of the top of a mountain.

  It was a sort of shelf a couple of feet below the mountain top. It was big enough that I didn’t fear rolling off while I slept, and I’d be out of sight. It was a sheer enough cliff face that it could only be approached from one side. Being an excellent climber, I could scale down the cliffside if I needed to make a fast getaway. It seemed as good a place as any to catch a few hours of much-needed sleep.

  About two weeks earlier, I had snuck back to our old house in Prescott to find some things I desperately wanted before I left the area for good. I’d waited in the empty lot across the street until the people currently living there had gone out. As soon as they pulled out of the driveway, I’d climbed up the trellis and into the attic window. Being three sto
ries up, no one ever bothered to lock this window

  I’d lucked out when I found our old trunk right where my folks had left it, undisturbed. I’d only taken what already belonged to me. A photo album and a copy of Jungle Book my mother used to read to me when I was little. She had written (To Mia with all my love, Mom) on the inside cover. I’d run my fingers loving over the words.

  Tears came to my eyes when I found the old, stuffed wolf my dad had given me on my first birthday. I thought he was long gone. Snatching him up, I stuffed my treasures in my pack then climbed back out of the window. There were so many other memories I wanted to take, but I could only carry so much.

  I was climbing back down the trellis when the people who rented the house came home. The man had pulled a gun on me before I even hit the ground. Once he saw I was just a teenage girl, he put the gun away.

  Unfortunately, even though I looked older, they’d recognized me from the posters that still hung in windows of stores around the state. The bright, copper, red hair was a dead giveaway. The $5,000.00 reward for information on the missing girl, Mia Hathaway, had made it impossible to stay in the area even if I’d wanted to.

  Despite me begging them not to, the people called the police, reporting they had found me. They were kind to me, considering I had just broken into their home. They even understood when I showed them what I’d taken. When I refused to come inside, the woman, who decided I looked half-starved, went in to get me a snack.

  The man waited with me for the Police. I’d begged him to let me go, explaining I had only wanted to get a few mementos of my childhood before leaving the state. He kept insisting it was for my own good, and the police would take good care of me.

  I knew if I went into the foster care system, my grandfather would find me. Though he hadn’t killed me that horrible night, I didn’t know what would happen if he found me now. I wasn’t about to take any chances. Fortunately, the loose board in the fence hadn’t been repaired. While the man was distracted by the cops pulling into the driveway, I made my escape through it.

  Being fast after years of running with cougars and wolves, I got away, barely. Once through the fence, I ran across yards and leaped over fences, not even slowing down to catch my breath, until I hit the desert. Disappearing was easy after that. I remembered all my old hiding places.

  The problem was now the search for me had been renewed. Since I had made the news again, I had to get as far away as I could, fast. I had no choice other than to keep running. Not that it mattered since I had all I needed from my past. I had no intention of ever going back to Arizona.

  Even though I was exhausted, sleep didn’t come easily. I did most of my traveling at night the past couple of years; therefore, I’d learned to become nocturnal.

  As a child, we’d gone out in the wilderness every weekend. My parents had taught me survival skills from a young age. Even though we’d moved around a lot when I was young, I’d still had the best childhood.

  Although our camping trips were meant to be educational, Mom and Dad made them fun, too. We’d sit around the campfire, making smores, singing songs, finding the constellations, and telling stories.

  Now, when I tried to remember the good times, my memories always returned to the image of the torn, bloody bodies of my parents. At which point, I would go back to blocking out the past, at least during my waking hours. Sleep had never been my friend since that terrible night.

  I was twelve when my parents were killed before my eyes. It was May 25th, my birthday. My parents had taken me camping at Hose Mesa. After a wonderful day of exploring and a night of singing under the stars, birthday cake, and telling ghost stories, we were sleeping soundly in our tent.

  No one woke when the wolves attacked until it was too late. I still have nightmares of that night. Our tent was ripped open while we slept. A giant gray wolf, with one reddish, gold eye, ripped my father’s throat out before we even knew what was happening. I remember reaching out to him then screaming when my hand came away covered in his blood.

  The other wolves dragged my mother out of the tent, kicking and screaming my name. She was begging them not to hurt me. I ran past the one-eyed wolf, screaming at them to leave my mother alone. I grabbed a stick and started hitting the wolves that were holding her down. When one of them turned towards me, growling, I growled back.

  One-eye came over to stand before me, staring with his good eye. I felt his sense of curiosity, along with his dark spirit, filled with anger and hatred. Out of nowhere, a giant brown wolf leaped into his path, growling at One-eye while blocking him from me.

  One-eye growled back before turning to stalk towards my mother. She was pleading, “Please, Father, kill me if you must but don’t hurt her. Mia is strong and smart; she will make you proud. She doesn’t deserve to die for my disobedience.”

  Racing around the brown wolf, I ran at One-eye with my stick, hitting him as hard as I could. One-eye ignored me completely like I was less than a harmless bug buzzing around him. I’ll never forget the sound of bone breaking or the squishy, moist, sucking, tearing sound of flesh being torn open as One-eye ripped my mother’s throat out.

  As she fell, One-eye, my own grandfather, stepped away to observe my reaction. I dropped my stick and fell to my knees next to my mother. Pressing my hands to her neck, I tried to stop the blood that squirted out like a fountain between my fingers.

  Mom reached up and laid a trembling hand against my face. “Promise me you’ll never give up, you will fight to survive.” Her words came out as little more than a gurgled whisper.

  “I promise, Momma.” Then I begged, “Please don’t leave me.” But it was too late; she was already gone. I watched as her eyes glaze over in a permanent milky stare just as I felt her spirit leave her body. I got up, drenched in the blood of my parents.

  Turning on One-eye, rage consumed me. “I know who you are. You better kill me now because if you don’t, I will kill you someday. I swear it on their lives.” I warned him.

  One-eye growled at me with his teeth bared in an evil grimace, his long, sharp teeth dripping with my mother’s blood. I stood my ground, staring him down, refusing to give in to the overwhelming grief I felt in front of him as he took a step towards me then another.

  The brown wolf slammed into his side then stood in front of me, the hair bristled on his back. One-eye paced in front of him. A low, continuous growl emanating from his throat. The brown wolf didn’t budge. After what seemed like an eternity, One-eye howled then ran off with the other wolves in tow.

  The brown wolf looked at me with sad, glowing, golden eyes. He brushed against my leg before he ran off in the opposite direction. Even in my dazed state, I’d sensed his compassion as well as a profound sadness. I sat on the ground staring at my mother’s body. I didn’t know what to do. I was in shock, I guess.

  A short while later, a tall, burly man with kind, brown eyes and a warm, albeit sad spirit walked towards me. Squatting in front of me, he explained, “I’m Chase McCree. I am very sorry, Mia. I tried to stop him.”

  I knew he was the wolf who had protected me. My mother had talked fondly of Chase. I threw myself into his arms and cried until I had no more tears. He cradled me in his arms until my tears subsided, then he covered my mother’s body.

  “Thank you. My mother talked about you often. She said if Jackson ever found us. If, if… (I gulped past the lump in my throat) this ever happened, I should find you.” I whispered.

  “Hana was my best friend growing up. I loved her dearly. She will be sorely missed. Mia, let me bring you home with me. My wife would be thrilled to have a daughter again. We have a ranch in Pagosa Springs.”

  “No!” I shrieked in panic. “I’m sorry. It’s just I know that’s close to my grandfather’s reservation. My parents made plans for me in case, in case…” I swallowed hard and continued, “In case I was ever on my own. I can’t be anywhere near Jackson. Not until I am strong enough to kill him. I haven’t even made the change yet.”

  Chase nodd
ed sadly. “I won’t try to force you as long as you have a place to go?”

  “I do.” I lied. I was too terrified of being found by my grandfather to risk being that close to him. “There’s money, our ID’s and stuff are in the trunk. The tent… (I had to swallow down another lump that threatened to choke me) and sleeping bags are ruined, the rest I can pack up. All I need is a ride to the bus station.”

  Chase helped me pack everything up. Once I had my backpack on, he said, “Are you sure you won’t reconsider, Mia? I know we live close to the reservation; nevertheless, we can protect you.”

  “I’ll be fine, Chase. My parents taught me exactly where to go and what to do.”

  “Fine. I’ll call the police and report this animal attack, then take you to the bus station. The police will look for you once they realize you’re missing. If they find you, they’ll put you in foster care, and Jackson is your nearest relative.”

  “I know.” I hugged Chase. “Don’t worry about me, Chase, my parents, planned for this. Thank you for everything.” I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Chase held me a long time while I cried again. I was thankful he’d shown up when he did.

  When we arrived at the bus station, Chase hugged me tightly. “Mia, if you ever need help or a place to stay, here’s my number. I will come for you anytime, anywhere. When you’re ready to make the change, come to us. Our pack will help you. Don’t do it alone. Promise me.”

  I nodded, “I promise. I haven’t even started having the wolf dream yet.” There wasn’t anything else to say.

  “Be safe, Mia. We’ll meet again. You’re a beautiful young lady, with her whole life ahead of her. Don’t let the desire for revenge ruin it.” All I could do was nod and wave as I jogged off.

  I felt a little guilty letting Chase think I had a place to go. I’d felt a connection to him right off the bat. If he’d lived almost anywhere else besides Pagosa Springs, I would have gone with him. I also knew if he were aware I would be on my own, he would never have let me go.

  I’d stayed mostly in wilderness areas in the beginning. At first, being young and used to being around people, I became very lonely. For almost a year, I lived in an abandoned building with a bunch of runaways in Amarillo, Texas. I made friends with four girls, Alli, 16, Denise and Christine, both 13, and Makala, 12. We vowed to be sisters and look out for each other.